Catch up on our IVF timeline

June 13 2021- (Chris)

Bre and I have been trying to have a baby since January 2019. That marked roughly a year and a half of marriage and we were ready for that next step that we knew we were both called to. Like many couples, we had struggles conceiving. But we didn’t quite figure out how difficult that struggle was actually going to be.

Bre consulted with an OB/GYN after we realized it wasn’t happening naturally, and found she had severe issues with ovulation. Due to COVID and limits on testing at the time, we had to wait until July of 2020 to be put on the ovulation medication Clomid. Also around this time, I got tested and all signs were positive on my end. Coincidentally, this was around the time I lost my job at KHQA.

Clomid was wholly unsuccessful, and she stopped taking it after getting advice from another doctor that advised the longer she took Clomid without successful conception, the higher risk for ovarian cancer and other issues. So we had a problem; we weren’t conceiving naturally, and the normal way that common couples deal with infertility was coming up blank for us. We were starting to fear that prayers were going to be answered in not quite the way we had hoped.

Due to lethargy and lack of professional skill, we switched healthcare systems and Bre started seeing a doctor that actually dealt with this stuff for a living. She suggested a hysterosalpingogram (HSG), a test that shoots dye into the fallopian tubes under an x-ray machine to determine if there were any blockages or leaks. Sure enough the HSG results showed that Bre’s tubes were kinked and damaged, most likely due to prior surgeries from appendectomy complications back in 2015 before we even started dating. In fact, these fallopian tubes were in such a condition that our new expert doctors recommended somewhat-timely surgery to remove the tubes so Bre didn’t form a potentially debilitating condition known as hydrosalpinx; that’s where the blocked tube has fluid build up that can be toxic to the woman’s body.

Everyone who passed seventh grade health class should see where this is going. Without fallopian tubes, natural conception can’t happen.

From additional tests, we also found that Bre very likely has polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) which very well may be the reason she’s had issues with ovulation, regular periods, and weight gain.

So where are we going from here? Bre is going to finish up her busy photography season through the summer, and will head under the knife in late September to get her fallopian tubes totally removed. This is a full-fledged in-patient surgery, so we’ll take some time for her to heal fully and be back on her feet, while we enjoy the winter holiday season. And then in January or February, our plan is to move forward with IVF conception; all signs show that her eggs and my sperm are still good to go, so we’re going to try this out, even without those darn tubes.

So why are we writing this and letting people know in this fashion? It shouldn’t surprise you to know that this has been incredibly hard for Bre and I. We both knew before we even committed to each other that being parents was one of the most important things to us in the world. We’ve prayed and cried many nights trying to figure out why we were chosen as the couple that would have to go through this much to conceive. I remember nearly breaking down a year ago, Bre’s grandmother placed her hands on Bre’s stomach and cried “Lord, I ask that you put a baby into this woman.” I carried that prayer with me, hoping that one day we would wake up with two lines on a pregnancy test. But it was only until recently that I realized that God’s answer to her prayer was simply “No. Not yet.”

But talking about it helps. As believers, we’re called to lean on each other and provide support for each other in times of pain, and I’ve found this to be true in so many periods of my life. Opening up will hopefully allow others to help us instead of having to bear the weight of pain and struggle on our own. We want you to know that every time we hear a baby cry, or get asked “So when are you guys gonna have kids?” there’s a real ache that wears us down.

We also hope our sharing helps to break the stigma that these situations have to be private. We hope to come out better from this situation on the other side, and want to support parents who may be going through the same thing. Living alone in your sorrow doesn’t do anyone any good. Also, this stuff happens. It doesn’t mean we didn’t pray enough, or we did something wrong that made it so we were the ones impacted. Comments like “The Lord will provide,” and “Oh you guys are still young,” simply don’t help.

How can you help? Pray with us and for us. Pray that doctors know how to lead our hopeful family in the right direction. Pray that despite the constant painful and lonely emotions that Bre and I experience allow us to still live fruitful lives in the meantime. Pray for our conversations and relationship as we make difficult decisions. Pray for our family and friends that have known for a while and continue to support us well. I’m confident that there’s a baby Yingling on the other side of this deep and dark valley; the issue is getting there.

Jan 18 2022 - (Bre)

Chris and I are finally in the process of IVF. We had a very successful egg retrieval on Friday (29 mature eggs, I’m very sore ) and our embryo transfer is scheduled for tomorrow.

If everyone could keep us in their prayers for a successful transfer that leads to a healthy pregnancy, Chris and I would appreciate it!

Jan 30 2022 - (Chris)

As many know, we awaited the results of our first round of IVF on Friday. Unfortunately, our prospective little one did not make it. Our doctor told us there was about a 30% chance of IVF being unsuccessful, but it hurts all the same. And as we look to round 2, that 30% feels way larger.

We will try again near the end of March. Our 3+ year journey continues.

April 2 2022 - (Chris)

After three years of frustration, pain, and prayer, we finally have the news we’ve waited on for so long.

Our 2nd round of IVF was successful, and baby Yinglett should be here sometime this winter!

We have an ultrasound later this month to check the little one’s progress, but so far, everything is looking positive for our little one.

God has answered our prayer in a powerful way. We’re so excited to be called Mom and Dad.

April 5 2022 - (Bre)

To everyone who's congratulated us, thank you!!! We're so excited for Monday to make sure little Yinglett is growing as they should be.

And for everyone asking how I'm doing, I'm pretty overwhelmed with everything but am happy! The downside is my little one doesn't like coffee (are we even sure it's mine ?!) so that combined with the normal hormonal tiredness of the first trimester I'm SO. TIRED. If I try to drink coffee I get so sick that it's not worth it

Little Yinglett also hates anything greasy and only wants fresh things, which isn't the worst thing in the world. I'm just running out of food ideas that aren't salads, smoothies or Greek yogurt.

We appreciate all the prayers for our little one. I know it's not "normal" to announce a pregnancy before 12 weeks, but just like speaking about our fertility struggles, I believe that that stigma should be broken

April 14 2022 - (Bre)

The downfall of sharing our pregnancy so early is having to share bad news.

Unfortunately this pregnancy ended today in a miscarriage. We don’t know why since everything was looking good and on track, but it wasn’t our time. We’re both heartbroken, but will continue on.

April 15 2022 - (Chris)

It’s so hard to think about what we will never know.

- We don’t know if you were a boy or a girl. - We don’t know whether you’d have your mom’s nose or your dad’s eyes. - We don’t know whether you’d prefer football or horseback riding. - We don’t know your Hogwarts house or your enneagram number. - We don’t know whether you’d love groups of people or sit in the corner with a book. - We don’t know whether you’d prefer contacts or glasses (you need one of them, your parents’ eyes suck). - We don’t know whether you’d be President or you’d run for school board. - We don’t know what starter Pokémon you were going to pick. - We don’t know who you’d choose to fall in love with. - We don’t know the impact you were going to make on this world.

Here’s what we do know.

For the weeks you were with us, you were fiercely loved. And even now that you’re not with us anymore, we’ll never forget the little one who–for a fleeting moment–made us feel like parents.

For now, we’ll heal. Our emotions are ragged, your mom’s body needs time to recover. Our hearts need to have a period of no pain. And eventually, when we’re ready, we’ll try again.

But until then, we love you baby Yinglett.

April 29 2022 - (Bre)

A lot of people are following our journey so I figured I’d do an update.

I have been taking meds or hormones of some type since January as we’ve have been doing everything back-to-back (egg retrieval, a failed transfer and then the successful one up until the 6-week loss).

Following our loss, the fertility clinic wants to give my body some time off from everything to recoup and hopefully drop some of the weight I’ve gained from all the hormones. I haven’t been allowed to do any heavy lifting or working out since late December so I’m honestly looking forward to being able to move my body with no restrictions.

Another update is you may see some new ink on my wrist. Isabelle and I have wanted matching tattoos for a while now and we FINALLY found one we agree on. We got them done last week for her birthday, however I modified mine slightly. We also forgot to get a good pic of both our tattoos together.

The flowers are our birth month’s flowers. The daisy for Iz, chrysanthemum for mine and only on mine, the narcissus for baby Yinglett’s should’ve been birth month.

The new tattoo lines up nicely with my key. Click here to see it

June 2022 - Roe v Wade overturned. IVF was a giant question mark

Sept 2022- upcoming appointment